I have been thinking a lot over the last 6 months about being a Mom. I had some time off between Feb-June and got to experience being around for the kids.
I know that I am very blessed by God (and 2 amazing birth mothers) to have Daniel and Rebecca in my life. I am their Mom and I am Enough! I keep reminding myself of this.
Being a Mom is the hardest job that I will ever have, but it is also the most meaningful and rewarding. As I was snuggling with Daniel and Rebecca this morning, I realized how much I love them. It seems your love grows for your children ever day as their personalities emerge and you get to see their gifts. Plus I can hold them and they feel my love and know everything is OK. That is pretty amazing.
Daniel has been talking to everyone he comes across in North Myrtle Beach. He just loves everybody and wants to be friends with everyone. He will even ask other kids if they will be his friend right after he meets them. He organizes the kids at the pool and they are all doing cannon balls and jumps for hours. He also talks to adults all the time and shares his observations with them :) A man in the ocean talked to Daniel for quite a while and when I came up to them, the man said, "He is a curious little fellow". Of course there are other folks who won't engage with Daniel and then I have to redirect him. Part of learning social skills - - but then again I think if we had a lot more Daniels who love and trust everyone then it would be a great place. He makes so many people smile - I think that is a good thing. I never want him to let go of this gift.
Rebecca is now a force of her own. She is so sweet and cute and then fiercely independent all within 5 minutes. Frankly I have a feeling that we are just going to be trying to keep up with her as she gets older. I want her to be a strong independent young lady who is "her own person". Apparently with girls the peer pressure starts earlier. I want her confidence and values to carry her through all the peer challenges and societal focuses on body image. She is so smart and emotionally intelligent. I am just trying to be a strong female role model.
Being a MOM can be daunting. You want to make sure you do it all right, but perfection is not the goal in this case. I am enough. Holding Daniel and calming him down when he is upset is enough. Telling Rebecca that I will fix her boo-boo is enough. Seeing them hurt and seeing them fail is just an opportunity to reinforce that trying is what matters and that they are surrounded by people who love them. And that they have each other to lean on always.
The pressure for the right schools, activities and accomplishments is palpable in D.C. area. But in reality, I am not sure all those things are the most important things. Knowing they have a Mommy and Daddy who love them unconditionally and that God is there for them is more important. Showing them how to be compassionate to others and encouraging their love of life is the key.
I have realized I am now the MOM. Not the child, teenager, or young adult. But the MOM. Sometimes I marvel at this and wonder how did I get here. I know it is because I had a very strong and loving mother!! Plus two loving grandmothers. Great role models for sure. And you can never love or thank you own mother enough.
Mommy guilt can always sneak in especially when Daniel got used to me being home and asked me not to go back to work. But being a good Mom will always come first. Knowing that you are their emotional center in the storm is so important. Taking time to have fun and enjoy the moment is something that I learn from the kids every day. And something I am trying to do for them and with them every day.
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